My definition of a REAL “Friend” is someone who freely gives (whatever), and humbly accepts (whatever), is supportive, as well as, gives a gentle kick in the behind when necessary.
A REAL “Friend” also reciprocates friendly advice and compliments to their friends, thanking them, and is someone that you can count on, no matter if they live next door, or halfway around the world.
A REAL “Friend” is forgiving and accepting of you for who you are.
A REAL “Friend” remembers you, and cheers you up when you are down, when you are facing poor health, when you are sad, and stands strong with you when you combat adverse circumstances.
A REAL “Friend” watches your back!
This is why I have liberated my so-called “friends & contacts” lists at Facebook and Flickr.
When looking at my lists, I looked at the people who were there; and evaluated those who NEVER-HARDLY-EvER reciprocated a compliment on my work or my posts. Also, I looked at people who NEVER hardly visited my posts or photos, AND those who I have never even met before (in real life). We all have those people on our lists – don’t we.
I never expect people to reciprocate – they do or they don’t. I don’t want empty “attaboys” comments on my photography. Only if people mean it, then it means something.
However, if YOU have noticed that you openly and honestly compliment other people’s work, and you never hear from them, or the ratio of things are 1 to 200, in the other person’s favor (as if this were a contest), then don’t you believe that you should really start evaluating your contacts and friends lists. When things become so lopsided, then you may be wasting a lot of time on people who don’t give a damn about you, your work, or anything you have to share on these sites. You should think about that.
I can clean out my lists of those people who do not seem to care if they are on my lists in the first place.
These sites seem to cater a lot to the human ego. On the obverse side, I think that many people are fine with being concerned that “contacts & friends” always appreciate their work or posts; but on the reverse side, they care little in return to do the same, or take interest in most others on their own list. And if this is the case, why keep those people on your list – what is the point.
Some of the people on my lists that I kept are still there because I like to see their work, and because I am inspired by their work. In this case, it does not matter to me that these people have NEVER visited my work. They are not friends, but I want to keep them as contacts because I want to be notified when they add new work, and I can appreciate the skill of their work.
Of the “non-friends” (people who do not fit your true and real definition of a “friend”) people on your lists, how many of these people’s works actually are inspirational to you? Ask yourself that question and perhaps you too will see a need to whittle down your lists.
I have enough on my plate right now with health concerns and other things. Therefore, I have “Used the Force” and have lightsabered my lists down to people for whom I really like to see their work, read their posts; and, those who have, over time, seemed also to take interest in my work, and what is going on with me.
Leave it to say, my lists have been chipped away considerably on both ends. And this is totally fine with me. My ego will survive, life will be less complicated I hope, because the less complications for me the better.
